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From that Angle

5/9/2019

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From that Angle
by John G. Johnson
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​(Visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, and gustatory): These modalities are the starting points. We use them to filter our experiences, move us into action, or inaction. Think of them as the "language of the mind." When arranged in a particular sequence they bring about our desired or undesired behavior. We have either seen persons or have had the experience of naturally excelling at a task, while others struggle. If we are all composed of the same biological matter then some questions to ask could be, "How is the successful person mentally organizing his/her resources? What are they doing inside of their mind that makes them good at what they do?"
 
Sadly, most don't; instead, they convince themselves it's better to "sing the verse" as others do, - which is to settle. This habitual acceptance without a challenge eventually morphs into beliefs about what they think is and isn't achievable in the world... within themselves... and the one they physically inhabit. This leads to unfulfilled potential and frustrated lives. Beliefs liberate or bind the mind.
 
We don't have to be bound by, personal, social or cultural expectations, or accept what has been established as the norm. This is "controversial" to some, according to their definition of that word and their lived experiences... And is NLP controversial? The technology moves contra, against the accepted status -quo, and the verse, the rhythm accepted by most about what's possible. NLP does not treat persons as a statistic. Instead, it respects each person as they are - a unique stand-alone individual possessing distinct strengths and unrecognized abilities. These (strengths and unrecognized abilities) are what NLP puts to use.
 
Strategies to organize our internal resources, to access alternative ways and levels of thinking, so we thrive are available; yours to for the taking. NLP's methods and approaches give the user conscious control to do these. Phobias, traumas can be a thing of the past. Clarity of mind so thoughts become focused and motivating goals are achieved. Increased physical and mental performance, and so much more are all obtainable.  Persons curious enough to defy the obvious have creatively applied NLP's techniques and strategies in various domains and professions: Sports, education, creative arts, personal performance business, science, counseling... If the will to change, to flow "against the rhythm of expectations" exists then there will no longer be the mind that restrains it.
 
Quotes from two poets and a theoretical physicist (Pindar, William Blake, David Bohm), when stitched together, sum things up:"...'do not aspire to immortal life, but exhaust the limits of the possible!'...'If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as is, infinite! For man has closed himself up, 'till he sees all things through narrow chinks of his cavern'...' The ability to perceive or think differently is more important than the knowledge gained!'...”

©2019 John G. Johnson All rights reserved! Subscribe to our mailing list for events, newsletters and events. Go to: www.nlpsuccessbydesign.com
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Thinking on Purpose

5/9/2019

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Thinking on Purpose:
A 15-Day Plan to a Smarter Life

"Change the way you think, changes the way you feel and changes what you do!"

Biohacker & NLP Trainer, Melina Vicario interviews Richard Bandler about his new book Thinking on Purpose: A 15-Day Plan to a Smarter Life and the practical strategies within it that you can immediately put to use. 
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Clear is Kind Unclear is Unkind

5/8/2019

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​ Clear is Kind Unclear is Unkind
by Brene Brown, PhD

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Adapted from Dare to Lead by Brené Brown
 
We started our interviews with senior leaders with one question: What, if anything, about the way people are leading today needs to change in order for leaders to be successful in a complex, rapidly changing environment where we’re faced with seemingly intractable challenges and an insatiable demand for innovation?
 
There was one answer across the interviews: We need braver leaders and more courageous cultures.
 
To better understand, we followed up by asking, Why courage? and What’s getting in the way of building more daring cultures? Of the ten behaviors and cultural issues that leaders identified as barriers to courage, there was one issue that leaders ranked as the greatest concern: Avoiding tough conversations, including giving honest, productive feedback.
 
Some leaders attributed this to a lack of courage, others to a lack of skills, and, shockingly, more than half talked about a cultural norm of “nice and polite” that’s leveraged as an excuse to avoid tough conversations.
 
Whatever the reason, there was saturation across the data that the consequences of avoiding tough conversations or tapping out of a difficult rumble as soon as it gets uncomfortable include:
 
1. Diminishing trust and engagement;
 
2. Increases in problematic behavior, including passive-aggressive behavior, talking behind people’s backs, pervasive backchannel communication (or “the meeting after the meeting”), gossip, and the “dirty yes” (when I say yes to your face and then go behind your back); and
 
3. Decreasing performance due to a lack of clarity and shared purpose.
 
Over the past several years, my team and I have learned something about clarity and the importance of hard conversations that has changed everything from the way we talk to each other to the way we negotiate with external partners. It’s simple but transformative: Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.
 
I first heard this saying two decades ago in a 12-step meeting, but I was on slogan overload at the time and didn’t even think about it again until I saw the data about how most of us avoid clarity because we tell ourselves that we’re being kind, when what we’re actually doing is being unkind and unfair.
 
Feeding people half-truths or bullshit to make them feel better (which is almost always about making ourselves feel more comfortable) is unkind.
 
Not getting clear with a colleague about your expectations because it feels too hard, yet holding them accountable or blaming them for not delivering is unkind.
 
Talking about people rather than to them is unkind.
 
This lesson has so wildly transformed my life that we live by it at home. If Ellen is trying to figure out how to handle a college roommate issue or Charlie needs to talk to a friend about something . . . clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.
 
When we have to show up for a hard conversation we call it “a rumble.” For us, this is more than just a weird West Side Story way to say, “Let’s have a real conversation, even if it’s tough.” It’s become a serious intention and a behavioral cue or reminder.
A rumble is a discussion, conversation, or meeting defined by a commitment to lean into vulnerability, to stay curious and generous, to stick with the messy middle of problem identification and solving, to take a break and circle back when necessary, to be fearless in owning our parts, and, as psychologist Harriet Lerner teaches, to listen with the same passion with which we want to be heard.
 
More than anything else, when someone says, “Let’s rumble,” it cues me to show up with an open heart and mind so we can serve the work and each other, not our egos. Armoring up and protecting our egos rarely leads to productive, kind, and respectful conversations.
 
-You can purchase a copy of Dare to Lead here.
-Learn more about our LinkedIn Global Read-along here.
-Take the free Daring Leadership Assessment and download free companion workbooks here.



Picturephoto by: Danny Clark
Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation – Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work.

She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness, and her latest book, Dare to Lead, which is the culmination of a seven-year study on courage and leadership.

Brené’s TED talk – The Power of Vulnerability – is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world with over 35 million views. She is also the first researcher to have a filmed talk on Netflix. The Call to Courage special debuted on the streaming service on April 19, 2019.

Brené lives in Houston, Texas with her husband, Steve. They have two children, Ellen and Charlie.

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