You are correct if you say we communicate using words- partially though! We also employ voice tone, gestures and body language, emotional state, clothing, the physical location (aka time/place setting) we occupy, and more; this is, in addition to the words we use. Even the lack of communicating is a form of communication. In short, we are always transmitting messages. We just cannot– not – communicate!

This non-stop sending of messages, intentionally, or not, does several things: One, it makes is highly likely that mis-communication will occur. Those among us who've lived a life have experienced the aforementioned, whether it’s you that misinterpreted the sender’s transmission, or the other way around. Two, it calls out a response from the receiver, somewhat like a stimulus response loop. For example, I say “good morning” to you and you respond in turn. Or with the intent of initiating a handshake, I extend my hand, and you do the same (providing you are polite).

Skilled negotiators and communicators understand the role their goals and intent play when crafting and delivering precise messages. They’re also keenly aware of the important role the receiver’s subjective experience of reality plays in how the message is received and interpreted.

Take note, because it’s on the level of subjectivity where mis-communication oftentimes occurs, hence the axiom: “The meaning of the communication is the response you get!”

Case in point: (names changed to protect the not-so-innocent) “Host and Wife” were having a private dinner for “Couple M & W”, new-found friends of theirs. In some cultures, it’s customary to take your shoes off upon entering a home. This is the practise Host and Wife observed as children, and still today as adults.

When Couple M & W arrived they had no idea about Host and Wife’s cultural protocol. So in they came, shoes and all. On top of this, Couple M & W graciously brought with them, because it was their customary practice to do so, to demonstrate politeness and grace, a gift, theirs was a cooked meal, which happened to be meat, for Host and Wife. What Couple M & W also didn't know was that Host and Wife were strict vegetarians.

From Host and Wife’s point of view they were being insulted – from the failure of their guests to remove their shoes, and that meat entered their home.

Couple and Wife realizing the ice-cold atmosphere getting even colder by the moment sincerely and whole-heartedly apologized and made the necessary adjustments. They explained that it was not their intent to offend.

Who’s right versus who’s wrong, in an interaction, sparked by a misunderstanding, is irrelevant, Because from their point of view, and from the intent of all parties involved, all are right!

This subjective world is rich and vast. As such you can't be error proof when sending messages; but you can reduce the likelihood. If  a perceived misunderstanding arises, apologize, error correct, explain your intent and find common ground so you and the other person can move forward.

“Treat people the way you want to be treated!” is not only dumb, but a false adage that's gone unchallenged. It's akin to saying "fight fire with fire," when water quenches fire. Like a virus, the former (and latter) has infected various communication models.... “Treat people the way they want to be treated.” Thinking from this view point allows one to behave differently, whether you're the message's sender or receiver. Saying it another way...whether you are the sender or receiver, get to know the other's worldview. You will learn more about each other. And you will literally be discovering how "each other prefers to be served," so to speak!


©2014 John G. Johnson All rights reserved! Subscribe to our mailing list for workshops, newsletters and events. Go to:  www.nlpsuccessbydesign.com

What are the eight traits successful people have in common? Watch (or listen). Be surprised how easy it is to adopt these traits in your lives.

Many business owners and managers see corporate social responsibility (CSR) as something that’s ‘nice to do’ but not really connected to growing the business and profits. Just the other day I had an experience that shows how wrong this is….

I took part in a training exercise where half the class pretended to be ‘employers’. The other half of the class pretended to be ‘potential employees.’ We (the ‘employers’) had to find a way to attract the ‘employees’ to come and work for us.

Sounds simple? Well I thought so. I was an employer offering flexible working hours, a great salary and career development. Yet my new recruits were undecided. But then I spoke about our corporate social responsibility program and they were suddenly a whole lot more enthusiastic. I signed them up.

Okay, so it was only a game. But it is a great example of how corporate social responsibility (CSR) can make all the difference to your competitive position. Initiatives such as pro bono work, philanthropy, support for community-building initiatives and environmental awareness can add significant value to your company, and if the program is well designed the benefits far outweigh the costs.

An easy way for your company to build its brand, reputation and public profile

Being socially responsible creates goodwill and a positive image for your brand. Trust and a good reputation are some of your company’s most valuable assets. In fact, without these, you wouldn’t even have a business. You can nurture these important assets by being socially responsible.

It is however, crucial that you devise the right socially responsible program for your business. When used properly, it will open up a myriad of new relationships and opportunities. Not only will your success grow, but so will your company’s culture. It will become a culture which you, your staff and the wider community genuinely believe in.

Corporate Social Responsibility attracts and retains staff

Did you know that socially responsible companies report increased employee commitment, performance and job satisfaction? Yes, it is in us all to want to do ‘good’ (and perhaps be recognised for it). Our lives become meaningful when we realise our work has made a positive difference in some way. It makes all our striving worth it. In fact, a 2003 Stanford University study found MBA graduates would sacrifice an average $US13700 cut in their salary to work for a socially responsible company.  By attracting, retaining and engaging staff, ‘doing good’ for others reduces your recruitment costs and improves work productivity. It’s just plain good all round!

Customers are attracted to socially responsible companies

Branding your business as ‘socially responsible’ differentiates you from your competitors. The Body Shop and Westpac are companies who have used this to their advantage. Developing innovative products that are environmentally or socially responsible adds value and gives people a good reason to buy from you.

Corporate Social Responsibility attracts investors

Investors and financiers are attracted to companies who are socially responsible. These decision-makers know this reflects good management and a positive reputation. Don’t underestimate this influence; it can be just as important as your company’s financial performance. In fact, it may be the deciding factor in choosing to support your company.

Corporate Social Responsibility encourages professional (and personal) growth

Your staff can develop their leadership and project management skills through a well-designed corporate social responsibility program. This may be as simple as team building exercises, encouraging your employees to form relationships with people they would not normally meet (like disadvantaged groups).

Corporate Social Responsibility helps to cut your business costs

Environmental initiatives such as recycling and conserving energy increase in-house efficiency and cut costs. Introducing a corporate social responsibility program gives you a good reason to examine and improve on your spending!

 Two important tips for you

Before you rush into your own corporate social responsibility program remember:

• You must implement your program strategically. Just giving a donation is not enough. The best corporate social responsibility programs are based on a two-way relationship with you and each of the organisations you are involved with. This allows both parties to be challenged and grow together.

• Your corporate social responsibility commitments should be in line with the values of your company, customers and staff. Most importantly, they must be based on a genuine concern for people and the community. You do not want the program to back-fire; making you seem hypocritical. A poor strategy will cause people to become cynical and distrustful of your company.

But all in all, corporate social responsibility makes financial sense, adds meaning to your work and makes everyone feel good!

 So what should you do next?

It is a highly competitive world out there. If you want people to buy from you, work for you and invest in you – look seriously at corporate social responsibility.


With over 25 years as the co-owner of a successful engineering business combined with a background in leadership development and education, Dianne Taylor brings a wealth of experience to her clients. Dianne’s practical experience is supported by qualifications in coaching, training, business and human resource management. She is a former lecturer in Leadership at Monash University and serves as a Director on several Boards. She can be contacted at [email protected]

Ethan Hunt’s mission (Tom Cruise- Mission Impossible 4), that he’s already accepted, is to pacify a diabolical master-mind bent on starting World War III is. To do this, Ethan needs access to the highly-secured server room nestled within the world’s tallest building, the Burj Kahlifa All “safe” options to enter this room are useless. The last available course of action is a ‘take or leave it option’ – entering from the outside… And off he goes, in Ethan Hunt fashion, scaling the building, unaided by a harness – but by futuristic suction-gloves.

A glove malfunctions, leaving Ethan dangling 3,000 feet from death. Oh, did I mention that a skin-stripping sandstorm is just off the horizon, gunning directly towards him? I would say Ethan Hunt has a – “problem”….

Whether in the cinematic world or in this “real” one, when wishful expectations fail to match what actually occurs in reality, that’s when we realize a problem exists. But, truth be told, the problem isn't usually the problem; it’s how we deal with it. This is key.

We all have reflexive responses for dealing with common situations which arise. Some work well, others don’t; the interesting thing is, we continue to employ tactics we know are useless, like ignoring, making excuses, blaming others for a problem, etc. and keep getting the same empty results. It’s like beating one’s head against the wall – stop!

Recognizing that a problem exists also presupposes that a solution is present, though hidden – temporarily. Albert Einstein famously said, “…The significant problems we face today cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them!...” In other words, if we are to unearth solutions for what we perceive to be an existing issue of concern, then a revolutionary perspective, a new way of thinking needs to be exercised.

We can start by first defining what the problem is. This requires several things: One, we take some responsibility for the issue at hand. Simply put, what was your role in making the problem exist? What did or didn’t you do? For example, your consistent cell-phone usage while driving consistently gets you pulled over by a police-officer who routinely gives you a ticket. Blaming or arguing with the officer does not solve the issue. Taking some responsibility for the act offers you a new vantage point from which you can *see solutions for your problem.

Second, focus on solutions. Visualize the outcome; ask solutions-based questions, instead of riveting your attention on the problem, thus feeding it unnecessary energy. Adding to the example above, instead of the driver paying attention to the anger and frustration triggered by receiving the ticket, he/she can focus on safe driving, and ask solution-based questions such as, “How can I eliminate getting tickets and drive safely on the road?” (Can you construct additional creative solutions-based questions?)

Third, we've either said these words, or have heard someone say them, “I need to get some space, some distance from the problem!” A hidden power resides in this statement. However you do it, physically or mentally, putting distance between you and the scenario in question shifts your state of mind and perspective, thus helping you to find creative solutions.

Adopting useful beliefs are also important when searching for creative solutions. Beliefs aren't “wrong or right,” per se; they are just useful, because they act as discriminating doorways, halting incompatible thoughts, ideas, and behaviors from entering one’s mind-space. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) contains many useful beliefs that can be applied to solutions-based thinking.

Some of the following are:

• Failure versus Feedback
  

We've all seen movies where the hero fires a heat-seeking missile at the villain. But the agile villain constantly dodges it, causing the missile to fail in connecting with its target. But the missile, as if it has a mind of its own - self- corrects - and gets back on its aggressive course…and does connect with its target. Failure versus feedback can be likened to this missile. Instead of calling your results, a failure, think of them as - feedback. It’s this information feedback you use to re-calibrate, so that when you get back on course, you’re armed with additional data on how to navigate, the best way to get things done, so you accomplish your goal.

•  Humans Have the Resources to Affect Change
  

Most of us have become accustomed to doing things a certain way. This oftentimes can lead us to believe that no other approaches exist to get the same task done, and that problems are bound to occur when this singular tactic can no longer be used. As previously stated, beliefs are neither wrong nor right, but useful.

Finding ourselves in a pinch is no excuse for staying there. Adopting the belief that we have the ability and power to influence our outcome is a good step in the right direction. For example, Ethan Hunt, after having gained access to the server-room, now must urgently get back to his team – asap! However, from the looks of things, he’s in some serious trouble:… Both of his futuristic climbing gloves (the only climbing gear he has) are destroyed, he’s several-thousand feet up, a dreaded sand-storm is minutes away, and he can’t use the elevators. What’s he to do?

If action reveals character, then it’s clear from witnessing Ethan Hunt’s previous exploits that he possesses certain abilities: He has the mental prowess to push aside fears; he can prioritise, focus and he’s always committed to a cause. These qualities are what Ethan accesses and utilizes…Ethan Hunt straps himself to on one end of a fire-hose, throws the other end out the window and races down the side of the building, … escaping, without the use of magical powers, but by taking advantage of resources that are already within him.

Like Ethan, we, too, can utilize the built-in resources unique to each of us, and also what's within our control to discover solutions. Examples of people doing such things, refusing let their circumstances limit or imprison them, are abundant.



©2014 John G. Johnson All rights reserved! Subscribe to our mailing list for workshops, newsletters and events. Go to:  www.nlpsuccessbydesign.com

As you are listening to celebrated author Chimananda Ngoze Adiche’s TED Talk, keep the following in mind: –
“The 'Power' of a single Story” and the impact is has on point of view."

The stories we are exposed to, and the ones we tell ourselves, help to frame and shape our self-perception, and how we experience the world we live in.

Earlier this year, I had the fortune to work in my capacity as a performance coach with the Stirling Clansmen (the 2014 American Football British National Champions). Although I played a very small part in helping them get in the right frame of mind to play their best, what I learned from observing them taught me some extremely valuable lessons.

The most important lesson that I learned was in observing what I call relentless discipline. The Stirling football coaches cultivated a culture on the team that was extremely impressive. They emphasised over and over again the essential need to be consistent in everything they did. They worked hard on the pitch and were well behaved off it. The importance of a code of behaviour was instilled quite brilliantly.

I’ve never had a more receptive audience than the 40 strong Stirling group. They were hungry for success and cohesively resonating with that hunger. They seemed to have a deep understanding that their conduct would determine how they would perform. Their values all seemed aligned.

To me, that is where relentless discipline comes from. It comes from the ability to communicate the importance of being a certain way in all aspects of your behaviour. For to become a champion, you really must become a champion. These champions became champions before they won the title. They became champions by how they acted. They acted like any great sporting icon. They worked as hard as they could work. They supported each other and they respected their opposition and anyone involved in the game.

I see discipline as the art of getting yourself to consistently behave in a certain way regardless of how you feel. When I go to the gym, I rarely go because I’m excited about it. I go because I know it’s really important for me. I made that decision because I decided I would value it. I made that decision because I decided to become that kind of person.

We often look to our behaviour to define who we are. When this team looked at their own behaviour, they could see real professionalism. They could see champions. This ensured that their discipline became relentless.

The trick is, if we want to succeed in any chosen area of life, we need to value relentless discipline as being exceptionally important. We need to remind ourselves that success isn't easy and the choices about how hard we are going to work and how consistently we will do so is going to determine whether we are successful or not. The beautiful thing is that it is up to us. It is up to what we choose to give value to. And we need to see ourselves as ‘that kind of person’. That’s a secret of champions.


Owen Fitzpatrick is an International Trainer and Practical Psychologist. He is co-author of six books which have been translated into more than a dozen languages. Owen is also co-founder of the Irish Institute of NLP, the largest NLP training company in Ireland. He is also a qualified Psychologist, Psychotherapist and Hypnotherapist. Owen has also featured as the presenter expert on his primetime television show 'Not Enough Hours' on Irish Television.

Note: Check out Owen's newest bestseller, the sequel to "Conversations" called " Memories: Hope is the Question"
You can post your comments about the book on Facebook

“Can you recommend some CD’s on hypnosis that I can listen to, because I want to be smarter?” Alan asked me (name changed to protect the so-called innocent). I've never been asked this before, not until now. It’s not for me to pass judgment on any inquiries. No matter how unique they may be. For we want what we want in order to satisfy values, intentions, needs, wants or desires.

You don’t have to look very far to find an infinite amount of hypnosis-based products promising all types of gains. I could have easily recommended several to Alan, and that would have been the end of it, much like the automatic behaviors we engage in, for example, shaking hands. One person first extends their hand. The other person - without thought - reciprocates. Both hands meet, resulting in a handshake.

Alan said something which made me curious. To be specific, it was a word he used- “smart!” What did Alan mean? What was his definition of that particular word?

I had options at this point: I could’ve asked Alan to clarify what he meant by the word, or to clarify what he meant by the statement. Or even to ask how does he know that a hypnosis product will give him what he wants?...

I did none of the above. Instead, I went in search of this word’s history. I discovered it (smart) comes from the Old-English term “smeart” which had several related meanings: sharp, precise, trim, quick wit, active, clever. This utterance got diluted over time, and lost some of its initial meaning. Today everyone uses this word (smart) in their own way.

It turned out what Alan really wanted was to be more precise in his thinking - at certain times - and on specific topics important to him, so that he felt more satisfied, more confident with actions he took afterwards. Put another way, tools for better decision-making were what he wanted.

If we want to be in a position where we are certain we’re making the best decision(s) possible, satisfied with the actions we’ve taken, have options to choose from, and feel good about the choices we’ve made, - the output, then it’s best to gather as much information possible about the subject we are focused on. This is the input phase.  Tools to help you do that are abundant, with the most direct one being – questions! The quality of your answers rests on the quality of your questions.

The Meta Model or Journalistic Questions are great tools to help you to generate quality information-gathering questions. The more information you have, the better the processing strategies your mind will engage in. Think about it. The mind needs something to work on. The great writers, past and present (and future ones), understand that in order to write, to produce a meaningful piece of work, they must – read! Read to write. “Reading” doesn’t imply books only, but reading the world, the environment you live in and are surrounded by. This act of reading for the writer, this immersion, is really the information-gathering phase, or, as advertising executive, Tor Myhren, calls it “inspiration overload,” the step that gets his creative juices moving.

Another key driver for success is our state of mind. For if we are seeking to enhance the quality of our thoughts and behaviors we need to take this into account. There is a specific state for a specific activity! What states of mind do you think: endurance swimmer, Diana Nyad, the fastest man alive, Usain Bolt, Bookkeeper, Antoinette Tuff, world-class public speakers, or even individuals who've changed the world, entertain, so they can perform at an optimal level? This then begs the question: “What states of mind must you activate if you want to produce the right thoughts and actions?”

Other strategies for input are:

• Having and experiencing multiple points of views on a single subject.
  
• Putting yourself in situations that cause you to grow, to learn. In other words, get out of your comfort zone. 
  
•  Self-reflection.
  
• Exercise: The brain is a glutton for glucose and oxygen. Getting the body moving triggers all kinds of responses within the body and mind. Some of the greatest ideas individuals have had in their lives came to them while exercising. 
  

©2013 John G. Johnson All rights reserved! Subscribe to our mailing list for workshops, newsletters and events. Go to:  www.nlpsuccessbydesign.com

Most of us take for granted, the language we use with ourselves. Language not only moves us consciously, it also influences us on the unconscious level.

In the clip, Simon Sinek demonstrates the differences between nouns, verbs (& verb phrases) and the dynamic impact they have on our behavior, for example when creating goals or satisfying a personal value.

Note:.... PAY ATTENTION to your internal sensations – notice the differences.

What Cicero can Teach us about Persuasion and Public Speaking
                                                                                          by Owen Fitzpatrick

Public speaking is an art form that many would love to master. Whether you need to give a best man’s speech at your brother’s wedding or you must present an idea at the monthly network meeting, public speaking is a skill many people seek. At present, since I’m busy just having launched the upcoming Charisma Bootcamp, I thought I’d share some thoughts on the matter.

Cicero was a politician of ancient Rome who is widely known for his prowess at public speaking and rhetoric. Having studied some of the greatest speakers from Greece at the time, Cicero became a powerful figure largely through his ability to inspire and move his audience. So, what are some of the keys we can learn from Cicero and his skills of oratory?

Cicero explained that there were five elements important to consider when creating a speech and making an argument. They are:

1) Invention
2) Arrangement
3) Style
4) Memory
5) Delivery

Let’s go through each one and explore how we can use this system.

Invention:

This is exactly what it sounds like. The first key is to ask yourself the question what is the goal of your speech? When you create anything, that is a good question to ask. Once you identify what you want, the next step is to list out all the different ideas or concepts that might help you make this happen. It is a good idea to figure out what is the message you want to deliver to the audience.

Arrangement:

This is how you structure your speech. This is broken up into Introduction, Main Body and Conclusion. Your Introduction should introduce your message, establish your credibility and connect with the audience. It should also capture their attention from the outset. You main body should share fact, evidence, stories, examples using both logic and emotion to influence your audience. You should acknowledge any arguments which counteract your one and dismiss them using logic and reason. The conclusion should then drill home your message and leave them with a good feeling connected to it.

Style:

This is how you write or prepare your speech. The words you use must fulfill the following criteria. They must be simply put, clear, vivid, fit with the expectations of and in the same language as the audience and lastly, the words must sound good out loud. When you read out what you have written you will get a good sense of what sounds good and what doesn’t.

Memory:

This reflects how you manage to remember the key concepts. It is a good idea to practice creating hooks that you attach each idea to. This means try to fit your speech into a story or connect the main concepts to a mind map or picture. This allows you to use a device to immediately remind you of what the next part of the speech is. Often powerpoint or keynote can suffice here.

Delivery:

This is how you actually deliver the speech. Your facial expressions, eye contact and use of your voice are key factors in presenting your speech powerfully. When you tell a story of something that made you cringe, cringe when you talk about it. During your speech keep making eye contact with the audience and stay a few seconds on each of them. Use variety in your tone of voice and pace of speech. Make sure that when you make an important point you slow down and emphasize the point.

So, let’s take the example of making a best man speech.

Invention:

• What are the main goals of the speech?
  
• Who do you have to thank?
  
• Who do you have to complement?
  
• What do you want the audience to know and feel?
  
• How do you want to present your relationship with the groom?
  
• How do you want the groom to feel?
  
• What are the best stories you have of your time spent with the groom?
  

Arrangement:

• What joke or funny story can you start with?
  
• How do you want to introduce yourself?
  
• How can you best connect with the audience? What will they relate to?
  
• Where will you do the ‘thank you’ part of the speech?
  
• Which stories will you tell? (usually picking 2 or 3 is perfect)
  
• What order will you tell the stories in?
  
• How will you finish the speech? (sentimental or funny)
  

Style:

• Is the vast majority of your speech something that everyone can relate to?
  
• What do you need to explain in order for everyone to understand the stories?
  
• When you choose the stories to tell, how can you make them more vivid?
  
• When you read the speech aloud, does it sound good?
  
• How can you make it sound better?
  

Memory:

• Use cue cards if you need to with the main keys of the speech written as words to remind you.
  
• How can you link the stories together so that each one reminds you of the next?
  
• How can you remind yourself of all the different people to thank?
  

Delivery:

• How can you tell the stories in the best possible way?
  
• What accents can you do or impersonate to really make the stories more vivid?
  
• How can you include the crowd on any of the jokes?
  
• How can you use variety in your tone of voice to make it more entertaining?
  

Owen Fitzpatrick is an inspiring, engaging and entertaining speaker  NLP Master Trainer, specialized in Charisma, co-author of 'Conversations with Dr. Richard Bandler' , co- author of ‘Choose Freedom’, an international bestseller. ‘Not Enough Hours’, a bestseller in the Irish Times Bookcharts and ‘NLP for Charisma’. Owen was the presenter and expert of the primetime show ‘Not Enough Hours’. He  is co-founder of the Irish Institute of NLP along with Brian Colbert. Founder of the Online Charisma Training Academy", and author of the soon to published book "The Charismatic Edge," as a trainer Owen is one of the most well respected authorities in the area of NLP:  www.owenfitzpatrick.com

                           Behind it All
                                                                                   by John G. Johnson

Like it or not humans are always learning. And we learn quickly. It’s not just our minds that learn, but our bodies as well.Sometimes a single experience  is all it takes. Rapid learning can occur when an  experience is unique, novel and accompanied by a heightened emotion. What’s interesting is that the more this learning event occurs, the more it becomes a stronger aspect of our being, hard-wired, so to speak, thus  leading us to create “conclusions,” “rules” “a point of view” “beliefs,” etc. about this unique event. Take for example, going to a restaurant and eating a meal that upsets your stomach. The next time around, you’ll most likely be cautious of either the restaurant in question or the same meal. However, if you  decide to give the same place and meal another try, and if the same thing occurs - again - then you’ll definitely build even stronger conclusions either about that establishment or the meal.  In fact, it’s how phobias are created - the body has learned to respond in a particular way that’s usually undesirable.

There’s another way we learn and acquire knowledge, and that’s through detecting patterns. Our minds are continuously scanning for and cataloging patterns in our environment. The interesting thing is that this pattern-detection activity takes place at a level that’s  -  below our awareness! Inferences are then derived from these patterns, manifesting in the form of, attitudes, beliefs or ideas, etc.

There are times, however, when these patterns are made available to our conscious minds. This gives now us the opportunity to discover the source of our present attitudes and conclusions about a provocative subject in question. This revelation also now puts us  in an immediate position to decide whether a specific attitude, belief, etc is useful to hold onto - or not.

But oftentimes these patterns aren't made available to us consciously. And all that we are aware of are just the “conclusions,” and their various forms, be that attitudes, beliefs, gut-feelings, rules, ideas etc., that seem to just “exist” without a source. A simple exercise to prove this is to list as many of the attitudes, beliefs, conclusions and ideas you are aware of, and then  ask yourself how did you come to acquire them. This unconscious pattern-detection mechanism has kept our species alive for millions of years. So, too, has our ability to infer and to generalize from these patterns as well. We use what we have concluded, (attitudes, beliefs, gut-feelings, rules, ideas etc.) as rudders in our lives which influence our: behaviors, thoughts and how we see the world. But this mechanism does have its flaws:

IF YOU are having trouble accomplishing a sought-after goal or activity, regardless of whatever field you are in (personal or professional), or are dissatisfied with your level of performance in a specific arena, then it’s useful to examine your attitudes, beliefs, even the excuses you create as to why a certain outcome is the way it is surrounding the context in question. And then  - challenge them!:  

• Are they helping you to move in the direction of your choice?

• Are there counter-examples to what you believe to be true?
  

• Are there more useful beliefs, attitudes and points of views to adopt that can serve you better?
  

We don’t have to prisoners of our thoughts and experiences.Success in any endeavor requires that useful beliefs, ways of seeing and even attitudes be adopted, because, as stated before, they act as rudders  influencing our behaviors and the choices we make that push and pull us in the direction we choose. 


©2013 John G. Johnson All rights reserved! Subscribe to our mailing list for workshops, newsletters and events. Go to:  www.nlpsuccessbydesign.com

WHY do you do what you do?  How do leaders inspire themselves, people and the world into action? You can do it, too. Watch Simon Sinek’s  TEDx presentation.

                        How to Let Go of Fear
                                                                                                  by Tina Taylor

Fear is part of our survival instinct; it sets our body and mind in motion in preparation for a perceived threat.  It’s hard wired into the subconscious and is one of our oldest emotions; sometimes generated without any conscious awareness.  We feel uneasy, yet don't know why.  It makes us jump when something moves on the ground or touches us, makes us blink when something is coming towards our eyes.  We respond due to sensory input driving us into action.

Fear makes you focus.  There’s a moment of awareness, with our unconscious telling us something isn't right, and as we sense "something" we freeze.  This freezing may stop predators from seeing us it also gives us a chance to evaluate the situation and if it is OK we continue - returning to what we were doing.

Fear is all about chemicals, epinephrine and norepinephrine; epinephrine (adrenaline) is secreted by the adrenal glands.  These chemicals are released in moments of fear to prepare us for the fight or flight response; and changes occur to improve chances of survival.  As well as increased strength an increase in oxygen increases sensory acuity whilst non-survival process like digestion are put on hold.

Fears and phobias are extreme anxieties.  As we go through life we learn a great many things by experience, things we are not even aware of.  An unconscious learning, fear is one of these experiences and is a demonstration of how quickly we learn an automatic response.

From one experience the mind can generalize and attach fear.  Then the flight or fight response kicks in.  Your imagination is far more powerful than conscious will and the area of the brain that you use to imagine something is the same area that is used when experiencing things.  Which is why your nervous system can’t tell the difference between a real or vividly imagined experience.

For an event to be coded as traumatic its said that four conditions need to be met.  First it needs to be a emotional event; second, have a meaning for the individual; third, the chemicals need to be in place and fourth the experience is perceived as inescapable.  If these are present it is possible that the brain will categorize the event as traumatic.

And yet there could be 2 people at the same event and one will be traumatized whilst the other will not.  How can this happen?

Life is full of traumatic moments, in order for an event to be traumatizing it must produce an emotional response.  Meaning is attached to the event, and whereby one person may code something as traumatic another may not.  A good example of this is those who are afraid of riding on roller coasters, they produce the four conditions in their mind and they know its scary and dangerous; whereas someone who loves roller coasters will have all the same conditions in place yet they love the thrill of the ride.

Our feelings are created by the way in which we think of something; for example someone scared of spiders may be creating an image in their mind of a larger than life spider which is scaring them.  Our fears may have begun due to specific event in our lives but these tend to evolve to a point whereby it’s the thought of the event/situation that causes the feeling rather than the situation/event itself.

There are a number of ways in which you can change the way you feel. One of these is: as you notice a feeling of anxiety/panic begin.

1.       Breathe in gently and slowly through your mouth when your lungs are full hold your breath for 10 seconds then.
2.       Breath out slowly through your nose.
3.      Breath in slowly through your mouth and hold your breath for 5 seconds.
4.      Breath out slowly through your nose.
5.      Continue breathing this way for a couple of minutes at which point the anxiety will have subsided.


Tina Taylor is one of the UK's sought after Licensed Master Trainers of NLP & Hypnotherapists, having been trained by and then assisting Paul McKenna & Dr. Richard Bandler.  With experience in the Human Resources sector, Tina has worked both on a consultancy basis and full-time for major corporations in the City of London.  Within her private practice, this diverse background has allowed her to create and provide some very unique services such as assisting couples with fertility issues and to help create a comfortable childbirth experience as well as coaching and hypnotherapy within the south of England to many individuals and companies.

Tina Taylor’s new CD, How to Let go of Fear, can teach you ways in which you can change your response’s and take back control of your thought processes.

                    It’s Time
                                               Three strategies to gain the most from the time you have
                                                                                          by John G. Johnson

Most of us lead a multitude of lives in today’s world. Adding to this, we perform a wide array of activities throughout the course of a single day… and then multiply that by seven. The result? Little to no time is left for us to appreciate the finer things in life. It’s no secret that we live in a world of consequences, so over-stressing ourselves, suppressing opportunities for personal rejuvenation will have a negative impact on our mind and body. “To every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction” is a fundamental law of physics. This law applies to human beings as well, meaning the way we live our lives.

The benefits of taking time out for yourself cannot be overstated. However, oftentimes, this classic refrain, better known as an “excuse,” frequently can be heard… “If only there were more hours in the day, then I could get everything done.” And then there’s the popular belief that most people subscribe to because they are convinced that certain tasks need to get done…or else: “it’s impossible! I don’t have time. I have too many things to do!”

These imaginary reasons, excuses, fantasies, etc. imply that we have little to no control over our lives, and that outside forces - not us – are responsible for the life we choose to live. This couldn’t be further from the truth; it’s clearly not a useful attitude to support!.... Beliefs of any sort, or any particular point-of-view one adopts, aren’t cast with and set in concrete. Meaning, they can change.

Twenty-four hours make a day; seven days make a week. It’s the reality we have to work within. Since this is the case, then it’s more useful to perceive time differently and ask ourselves “How we can work with what we have in an efficient manner so as to move towards a higher quality of life?”

The following are three such strategies.


Order of Importance
Last month we spoke about values and asking the question, “What’s important to me in X?” We can ask this same question when it comes to ordering your list of things-to-do for a day or week.  When you make your list, (day or week), prioritize your activities from – most important things to get done to least important things to get done. (Think of an inverted pyramid). Organizing your tasks this way has several advantages:

One, you will be able to see that what you thought was important to get done isn’t so after all. You now will have the choice of discarding those less-important activities to free up some time. It’s sort of like deleting non-essential files on your computer’s hard-drive to create additional space.

Two, in many instances, taking care of the most important things has the added advantage of simultaneously completing minor tasks as well. Think of it as collateral benefits – two (or several) for the price of one, so to speak.


Learning to Say “No!”
Think about it. How many times do we say “YES” to activities – without – taking into consideration the full consequences they will have on us and on the quality of time we want for ourselves? The reasons why we say “yes” to tasks are too numerous to mention. But learning to say “NO” to deadweight activities is a useful habit to embrace.


Breathe!...
Take a moment to breathe –focused rhythmic breathing, for at least three minutes. This activates what Dr. Herbert Benson calls The Relaxation Response, a heightened physiological state deep rest that allows the body and mind to take a break and restore itself. Many breathing techniques for accessing this state of focused rest abound. One simple strategy is to: Breathe in for four counts, hold for three counts, and then exhale for eight counts. Repeat for at least three-minutes. That’s it. If you find your mind wandering, that’s fine. Just return back to your task. It’s like physical exercise; the more you practice the better your focus becomes.

From the womb to the tomb, time is already pre-determined for us, so we can say it’s limited. It’s not how much time we have, quantity-wise – it’s what we do with it - quality-wise - that makes life worth living.


©2013 John Johnson All rights reserved! Subscribe to our mailing list for workshops, newsletters and events. Go to:  www.nlpsuccessbydesign.com

                                              Almost Instant State Change
                                                                        By Kevin Creedon (1960 - 2013)

Think of a problem. Those four words are used repeatedly throughout NLP trainings because most of the time NLP techniques are used in a prescriptive manner. That means that, after the fact, we can examine a problem, make new choices and mentally rehearse a more ideal performance in the future. But what about those events that we didn't prepare for? Is it possible to shift from negative feelings to more resourceful feelings in the moment, without prior planning or an external trigger?

 Shift Happens
I remember a time when I had to travel from New York to Boston for an important family event. Very early on a hot August morning, I went to pick up the rental car I had reserved a week before. The rental agent told me that, because some cars hadn’t been returned yet, I'd have to wait until one came in or make other arrangements. I finally got a car—two hours later. Now I was stuck in morning rush hour. Worse, there was a lot of repaving being done on the highway and the heat left a lot of overheated cars stalled on the road.

When I finally got to Boston (having missed the wedding and most of the reception) I was in an awful mood. One of my nephews, who was six at the time, asked me why I was so grumpy. I told him the whole story: the car rental, the traffic, the heat... And then he said, "But Uncle Kevin, you're not driving now."

Instant state change! One moment, I'm grumpy and reliving all the unpleasantness of the morning, and the next I'm enjoying myself.

At that point, I knew that positive state changes could happen suddenly, and faster than any NLP technique I had learned so far. But I didn't know how to generate them for myself. They were always a reaction to something external, usually something someone else said to me. Yet I was very curious about how we could learn to do the same thing for ourselves.

 Emotions are Choices
William Glasser, M.D. in his book Choice Theory makes a strong case for the idea that emotions are choices, even when they don’t feel like it. Using my trip to Boston as an example, he would say that the reason I was grumpy with my family was not because I spent most of the day stuck in traffic, but because at the reception I was choosing to generate grumpy emotions.

Whether or not emotions are choices is true, it is a very useful assumption. Here's an experiment. Pretend that you are grumpy and mentally label your experience each of these ways:

1. I am grumpy.
2. I am feeling grumpy.
3. I am choosing to feel grumpy.

What are the differences for you? Which gives you the greatest freedom (and responsibility)?

When I taught my first Master Practitioner class, at graduation one of my students told me that he had just solved a big mystery: that much of what I taught in class was geared toward recognizing that we can choose how we feel. This was a powerful revelation for him—he had spent much of his life being angry, thinking he had no choice about it. He asked me why I didn't just tell everyone at the start that emotions can be chosen. "Who would have believed me?" I asked him.

Some people try to suppress or hide their emotions. Others venerate them, with the idea that ALL emotions have to be fully expressed, preferably with an audience, before an emotion is complete. I don't think emotions should be suppressed or avoided, but I’m surprised how often what I’m feeling seems to have been chosen blindly, without considering more than one possibility.

Here's another experiment to illustrate the ephemeral nature of emotions. Think of a small task that you can do, should get done and have been putting off. When you think about it, what emotions do you feel?

Next, ask yourself "Is there any reason I can't put off deciding how I'll feel about doing this until after it's done?"

Notice what happens. In my experience, both with myself and with my students and clients, if the answer is no, the negative feeling spontaneously disappears and we go and do the thing that we had been putting off.

Kevin Creedon's work lives on in and throughout the lives of the people he's touched in his unique way. A part of his legacy has been captured and preserved on this best-selling DVD - Bang Bang!

Anne Marie worked hard to finally secure her coveted, hi-profile dream job, one which had glamour, power, and prestige attached to it. The job gave Anne Marie the ability to influence the direction of politics and policies in the USA and around the world. It also kept her at the office until the wee hours of the morning - and away from home for extended periods as well. This dream job did have its perks though: Trips to exotic countries, attending exclusive engagements and ritzy events, mingling and dining with titans of industries and influential heads of state.

Ann Marie thought she had it all. But in less than two years she called it quits, giving up the position she fought to get, saying it wasn’t what she thought it would be. Why? The demands of the job weren’t fulfilling a personal need, a value important to her – family. She had a husband and two teenage boys who she wanted to spend more time with.

To understand one of the reasons people do the things they do we need to look at “Values.” Values are subjective; they vary from person to person and are contextual.  This means that what’s important you, what you are valuing in a career, for example, will be different from what’s important to you when it comes to owning pair of shoes. In short, a person’s behavior oftentimes is satisfying the values they consider dear to them in a particular context. The good thing is that values aren't set in stone; like human beings, they can change over time. If we work from this premise, then in order to learn what someone’s values are in a given scenario, all we need to do is ask: – What’s important to you in X? And Listen! (x = specific context: For example, family, friends, career, car, clothes, vacation, etc.

Ann Marie’s situation, of achieving a goal and then abandoning it, isn’t rare. As observers we are sometimes stunned by the actions of certain individuals, people who are in the public eye, or within our own private social circles. From our point-of-view we think what they did was bizarre, prompting us to say something like, “Why did they give it all up? They had it all. “I” would have never done what they did. I don’t get it, etc.” To the outsider, upon first glance, Ann Marie’s decision to quit seems strange. But asking the question above, in order to unearth what her values are in the context of a career, would show that by leaving the dream job, no matter how attractive it was, Ann Marie was adhering to her values. Spending time with her family is important to her. The rigors of the job prevented this from happening. So she did the next best thing…

Values give rise to behavior. So before we go condemning someone for an action they took that you clearly wouldn’t have if you were in their shoes, so to speak, dig a little deeper and find out that person’s values are in that given context and were they (values) being satisfied.

There are times that humans do have to endure the gauntlet to discover what’s important to them. But we can save ourselves time and eliminate, if not, reduce disappointment in advance when we:

 1= Ask ourselves the same question posed above (What’s important to you in X?) and - pay attention - to the answers and emotions that arise.

2= Write down the answers you get.

3= Then find out if the desired goal or behavior you seek will fulfill these values.



©2013 John Johnson All rights reserved! Subscribe to our mailing list for workshops, newsletters and events. Go to:  www.nlpsuccessbydesign.com

                           The Art of Relating
                                                                                          By Owen Fitzpatrick

One of the most important distinctions I have learned about relationships is the different between ‘having a relationship’ and ‘relating to your partner’. Far too often, we talk about it and think about it as if it is a static entity. The truth is that you and your partner are constantly changing, evolving and your relationship is too.

By seeing your relationship as a still object, you fall into the trap of not reminding yourself to continuously ‘relate’ in the most effective way. When you change this perspective and you begin to explore ways of relating to your loved ones, you can have a massively positive impact on the relationship itself. Of course the very word relationship puts a sort of limit on the concept as a noun… but I am more talking about the way that we actually relate to the concept.

For example, some people say that they are ‘in’ a relationship and not ‘having’ one. This can be okay as long as we are thinking of the relationship as something that is traveling and moving. Far too often, we find ourselves struggling with the fact that what once worked with the other person no longer does. By reminding yourself that you need to continuously relate, it makes things a million times easier.

Relating itself is about learning from the person what they are thinking and feeling and what they need and want from you as well as expressing your own needs and wants to them in the most effective way possible. When your ‘relationship’ is no longer taken for granted you get to do this is really wonderful ways!




Owen Fitzpatrick is an inspiring, engaging and entertaining speaker  NLP Master Trainer, specialized in Charisma, co-author of 'Conversations with Dr. Richard Bandler' , co- author of ‘Choose Freedom’, an international bestseller. ‘Not Enough Hours’, a bestseller in the Irish Times Bookcharts and ‘NLP for Charisma’. Owen was the presenter and expert of the primetime show ‘Not Enough Hours’. He  is co-founder of the Irish Institute of NLP along with Brian Colbert. Founder of the Online Charisma Training Academy", and author of the soon to published book "The Charismatic Edge," as a trainer Owen is one of the most well respected authorities in the area of NLP:  www.owenfitzpatrick.com

              Become that You…                                                                               by                                                                                  by John G. Johnson

I just finished reading The Five Major Pieces to the Life Puzzle, written by celebrated business-leader and trailblazer the late Jim Rohn. The book is based on what Mr. Rohn believed are the five pillars for success:

• Philosophy – the thoughts you adopt and live by.
  
• Attitude – the energy and intent you give to a situation.
  
• Action - what you do.
  
• Results – metrics- progress and results how you are moving towards your goal. 
  
• Lifestyle - the kind of life you create for yourself by adopting the four principles above.
  

Not only did Mr. Rohn have a unique life perspective, he was clearly skilled in reframing scenarios into useful and empowering points of views. And he was famous for his quotes as well. For example, “Your income is related to your philosophy, not to the economy!” (How relevant is this today). Mr. Rohn’s common sense writing style can easily lead someone to think his book is a quick read. However, any serious reader will realize that The Five Major Pieces to the Life Puzzle is laden with thought-provoking insights that are worth reflecting upon. Take for example – Mr. Rohn’s statement that:…

“…Success is something you attract by the person you become…Success is not something you pursue. (That’s like chasing a butterfly. You just quite can’t catch it)… Success is something you attract by being an attractive person….

What does Mr. Rohn mean by “success” and “attractive”? To most people the words automatically convey ‘money’ and ‘beauty’. But there are so many other definitions – that’s personal to everyone. Regardless of the myriad of associations those words call up, if we take the entire statement as a whole one of things we can conclude is that: Stagnation doesn't work; if what you are doing isn't working, meaning you don’t like the feedback you are receiving, then you need to adjust, grow, change, acquire the necessary tools – whatever those need to be - to help get you to your destination.

I’m reminded of two real-life examples: ONE - Debra Ehrhardt struggled for years in both New York City and Hollywood to become an established stage actress. This was her life-long dream; it’s what she trained for many years to be. She did everything “within the expected box” trying make things happen. You name it Debra did it… Auditions after auditions, sending out resumes and head-shots, responding to casting calls, etc... And still no one gave her any roles. She came close… but, still – nothing.

Debra realized that if wanted to be a working actress then things had to change; she had to become more than just an actress. Fortunately, unrestrained desire and ambition were on Debra’s side. If no one wanted to offer her a role, give her a break, then she would write her own roles. She learned the craft of playwriting and the business production side of the theatre industry and then mounted one-person plays in which - she – was the: producer, promoter as well as its star.

Her first play attracted network TV executives who eventually bought it. That being history, and still hungry to work the stage, Debra wrote a second one-person play, and won numerous prestigious awards for it. Her current play, Jamaica Farewell, in which she’s once again the producer, promoter and star, continues to be performed in sold-out theatres in the USA, Canada, Europe, South America and the Caribbean. It also caught the attention of a serious hi-profile movie mogul and is currently in the process of being turned into a major motion-picture.

TWO- Poverty and  a lower caste family was what Kalpana Saroj was born into in India. Strangers, even family members called her horrible names when she was young. Getting beaten up on her daily eight mile trek to school and forbidden to drink from certain water wells was a common occurrence. Kalpana’s mother even told her to accept her fate, meaning there was no way out. At twelve Kalpana was forced into an abusive marriage. She eventually defied social pressures and left it, but doing so had its negative social consequences. Too much to tolerate, Kalpana tried taking her life - but survived.

This proved to be a turning point. She now had several options:(one), accept her fate as her mother said, (two), do a better job of  taking her life, or (three), change her circumstances for the better – something people within her caste rarely had achieved. Kalpana took option three…to live the life that she wanted, despite what others expected and thought of her because of her social status – an untouchable.

Kalpana left her tiny village, made her way to the big city, Mumbai, and got a job in the garment industry paying her 15-cents a day. She taught herself how to use a variety of commercial sewing equipment which made her marketable, and as a result saw her income rise. At age twenty, she applied and received a government loan and opened her first business. It turned out that she had the gift for running a business. One successful venture led to another to the point that people who had a failing enterprise - regardless of what caste they came from - sought her consultation and offered her highly lucrative business opportunities. All this culminated in her becoming a titan in business. Today, in her early fifties, Kalpana’s worth millions and her combined companies are valued at over 100 million dollars. In addition to that, she met a businessman whom she married – by choice!

We can infer a lot from these examples. One thing is for sure: Debra Ehrhardt and Kalpana Saroj are successful by their standards. Both had to become more than what they were, doing whatever it took, whether it was by acquiring new skills, cultivating the appropriate mental attitude, adopting a new philosophy, etc. so they could change their circumstances and design a lifestyle on their terms. “…Success is something you attract by the person you become…”


©2012 John Johnson All rights reserved! Subscribe to our mailing list for workshops, newsletters and events. Go to:  www.nlpsuccessbydesign.com

The Psychology of Money, Prosperity and Wealth
By: Kristine Hallbom and Armand D'Alo

What stops people from succeeding financially and having ongoing prosperity in their life? The answer is generally focused around the belief that financial success is not a possibility. There are many people who have unconscious barriers that prevent them from having the wealth and abundance that they deserve.

If you have limiting beliefs about money at an unconscious level, it will be difficult to move though your financial limitations because your unconscious mind will dampen your efforts to succeed. This is why some people end up living from paycheck to paycheck their whole life--because at some level they don't believe that they're capable of doing better.

At a conscious level, most people think they're doing everything possible to achieve their goals. However, there still might be some unconscious part of them that doesn't believe they can obtain success. The more a person avoids that unconscious part, the more obstacles will continue to show up in their every day life. That's the way the mind works.

For example, think of all the people you know who read the think and grow rich books, attend financial seminars, say daily affirmations, and still have money problems. All of these things they're doing are worthwhile, yet they often don't get to the "core" of their issue, which usually involves some type of limiting belief.

People have many different unconscious beliefs about money. Some of the more common ones we've come across are:

·         You have to work hard to make money.
·         I will never be rich.
·         Having money isn't spiritual.
·         Life is a struggle.
·         Money is hard to manage.
·         You need money to make money.
·         It's too late in my life to think about getting wealthy.
·         I don't have the magic ingredient that is necessary to be successful.
·         I can't be successful because my parents weren't successful.

These types of beliefs limit people because they're looking for the answers outside of themselves, when in reality the keys to prosperity exist within themselves. Wealth is not what a person has. It is a state of mind. The people who succeed in life from a financial perspective have positive beliefs about money, wealth and prosperity. They understand that wealth is an internal experience.

Instead of focusing on all the possible ways to get rich, many people spend a lot of time obsessing about what they don't have. An interesting pattern develops in which they become angry or resentful over their situation, which creates more limitations and barriers in their lives. It's so easier to get ahead in life when you're coming from a peaceful state of mind, versus an angry or resentful frame of mind.

The first step in understanding the unconscious patterning of a person's financial situation is to explore the deeper nature of how they represent money.

For example, a person with money issues may have had parents who lived in poverty, and they subsequently formed a "Depression Era" mentality. Hence, an unconscious belief was developed that the person will always have to struggle financially because that's what their parents did. Or they might have had a parent tell them over and over again that they'll never be successful, and eventually they began to believe it.

It's very common for children to unconsciously form limiting beliefs around money at an early age. These types of limiting beliefs are referred to as "imprints" in the field of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). An imprint is basically a memory that is formed at an early age, and can serve as a root for both the limiting and empowering beliefs that we may form as children. Some of the beliefs that we may develop at early ages are not always healthy, and are created as a result of a traumatic or confusing experience that we have forgotten. How we unconsciously and consciously view the world in terms of money is generally based on such beliefs.

Identifying your limiting beliefs is a critical first step. Once you've identified what some of those underlying imprints/beliefs are, you can use different NLP and life coaching processes to quickly move through those obstacles, thus allowing you to see and experience all of the financial opportunities that are really available to you.

Beliefs About Possibility

The primary psychological difference between those who do well financially and those who don't revolves around beliefs about possibility. For example, many people don't even view financial success as an option. They don't have the capability to open themselves up to all of the possibilities that are available for achieving prosperity. Often they'll get stuck in a monthly routine and are unwilling to take risks or try something different because they're afraid that they'll end up being worse off than they already are. What these people don't realize is that it's common to have to take a step backward in order to move forward.

Many millionaires have gone bankrupt at some time in their life and then in a short time will completely turn their financial situation around for the better. Moreover, many people who start up their own businesses often lose money in the beginning. However, they do this, trusting that their new business will expand to a point where they're earning a nice salary while collecting a tidy profit.

Not everyone has to take risks or step backwards to get ahead, though it's important to consciously open yourself up to the idea of what is possible for you. In order to embrace this idea, you must first have the ability to change your daily routine by doing something different. This includes learning how to view your world through the eyes of prosperity and abundance, instead of lack and poverty.

Try this on for a moment:

Think about something that you want and all of the possibilities that you have in achieving it. Ask yourself, "What is possible?"

Now try something different.

Think of something that you don't have, but that you'd like to have. Think about all the reasons why you don't have it and how you wish you could have it.

Notice which one of those makes you feel better.

Hopefully, the first statement made you feel better because it was designed to expand your unconscious and conscious frames around wealth and prosperity. It's amazing what can happen to a person once they change their attitude and beliefs about possibility. Once people begin to shift their thinking, they start seeing results almost instantaneously. The shifts may be small at first, but as they continue to embrace their new way of positive thinking, a lot of magic opens up for them.

For example, many years ago a number of Vietnamese "boat people" immigrated into the United States. Many Americans were concerned about the strain that would be created on welfare and other government services as a result of these people coming into the country. Interestingly, many of the Vietnamese who went into business for themselves ended up doing extremely well. Why is that?

An obvious answer might have to do with the fact that the Vietnamese people came from a country where if they said the wrong thing, they would get shot. Then they came to the United States where the worst thing that could happen was that someone would call them on the phone and harass them because they didn't pay a bill.

If you come from a world where death is a moment to moment reality to a place where options are endless, then there is no reason not to try everything. Instead of being angry or bitter about having to leave their country, they were grateful to be alive. Instead of sulking in self-pity, many of them adopted a creative attitude that revolved around the question, "What is possible?"

Consequently, when they moved here, two or three Vietnamese families would live in a confined space. They went out and got minimum wage jobs and pooled all of their money together. When they got enough money, they would buy a business and the whole family would start working at the business. Once the business became fairly successful, they would buy a piece of real estate. Then they would buy more real estate, and so on.

For these Vietnamese people, success was an affirmation of what is possible, because everything was possible to them. All they had to do was prioritize what they wanted, and then categorize the different possibilities in achieving. Instead of feeling sorry for themselves, they stayed positive and kept a laser beam focus on their long-term goal of wealth and financial prosperity. People can do anything they want. The question is: what are they willing to do to get to their possible outcome?

Wealth is a State of Mind

Often people will confuse who they are with how much money they make. Whether someone makes a million dollars a year or $15,000 a year, everyone still has the capability to achieve a certain degree of financial abundance in their life.

For example, when the Nazi's took over in Germany, there were very many wealthy people in the society who had their lives ripped away from them and they ended up in concentration camps. Viktor E. Frankle or Anne Frank were in situations of the worst poverty, yet they actually had an abundant life.

In Man's Search for Meaning, author Viktor E. Frankle said that the one thing that a person has that can never be taken away from them is their attitude.

"We who lived in the concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man, but one thing: The last of his freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

Frankle, a psychologist, adopted a creative attitude that helped him survive the nightmare of living in a concentration camp. He was able to manifest internal prosperity by exercising his right to do so. This same attitude led him on a path towards achieving and living an abundant life once he got out.

Wealth and Self Worth

When it comes to thinking about prosperity, it's helpful to understand that it's a resource that flows through us. We are a conduit for prosperity. Once this is realized, then we start to identify with the fact that we're the ones who choose how to channel this resource. Viktor Frankle made this distinction in the concentration camps. Every single one of his material possessions were stripped away from him, including his shoes. The only thing he had left, was the ability to believe in himself and to embrace the idea that he was still a good person, despite the fact that everything had been taken away from him. This was an important distinction for Frankle to make, because then having money was no longer a question of his self-worth.

Money doesn't determine who you are; it's simply a resource. Having a strong inner sense of self is what is truly important. Money is merely an external element. Once people stop equating their self-worth with money, then the doors of possibility swing open for them because they're willing to try more things. Once they start feeling better about themselves, they become less fearful and are open to trying something completely different.

It's a matter of getting clear on your financial goals, and then declaring to yourself, "This is what I want and there are several ways of achieving it. There are several possibilities for making it happen. If something doesn't work, then I'll try something else."

And if the next thing doesn't work out, then it's simply feedback that you need to try something else. It doesn't mean that you're a failure or a terrible person. It simply means that there is something out there that will eventually work and that something is outside of you. You are still the same person on the inside, no matter what.

Measuring one's self-worth by how much money one has can be devastating. For example, there was a woman who had 17 million dollars set aside for her in a trust fund by her parents. It would pay her out at least $800,000 a year in interest as long as she was breathing. This person found her identity and self worth in the lifestyle that she lived and how much she owned. During one shopping spree, she spent $18,000 in the lingerie section of her local department store.

Most of the actions that she took when it came to spending large sums of money were the result of comparing herself to her sister. The sister was in the same situation; she also had a trust fund that paid out a lot in interest. However, the sister never looked at money as an aspect of her identity. She never determined her self-worth by how much she had.

All it meant to her was that she had something to fall back on if there was ever a problem. She married and started several businesses with her husband. They became extremely successful in their own right and it turned out that after many years, the income from her trust was relatively small compared to the income generated from the businesses they had developed.

Interestingly, the woman who based her identity and self-worth on her pocketbook spent large sums of money to keep up with her sister. She eventually went bankrupt. This is an extreme example of someone who measures their self worth on how much money they have.

The woman's situation became even more complicated when she started comparing herself with her sister, which is also a statement about her self-worth. It's common for a person to compare their financial status with someone else and, sadly, this is the root of much of the emotional pain that people carry. People have a tendency to compare themselves with their friends, co-workers, family members and so on. When people compare themselves with someone, what they're actually doing is making a judgment about themselves and the other person. At some level they're basing their identity and self worth on external elements.

When someone decides to stop comparing themselves to others, they'll begin to notice amazing shifts in their life because they'll be viewing life from the inside looking out. They'll be internally referenced, which will enhance their self worth and identity because they'll be determining who they are from their own heart. They'll no longer give other people the opportunity to determine who they are, because they'll already know themselves at a very deep and spiritual level. Instead of basing their self worth on external elements like a paycheck, they develop a strong inner sense of self-worth which gives them the courage to try new things-thus expanding their opportunities.

For example, there was a janitor who made only about $1,800 a month. After doing some beliefs work with NLP and financial planning, he decided to start his own business. He began by saving money and then he bought all the supplies that he needed. He kept his regular janitor job, but he took a new cleaning contract on the side. He then got another contract and hired somebody else to help him out. After a period of time he decided to quit his janitor job and started his own cleaning company. He eventually made a tremendous jump in his monthly salary, and had a sense of freedom that he had never experienced before.

What is interesting about this story is that the man was still doing janitorial work. What changed was his self-worth. Instead of thinking, "Oh, I'm just a janitor, I can't do anything else. I'm not smart enough, I'll never be rich," he began thinking, "What is possible? What are some ways that I can achieve wealth? Everybody needs someone to come in and clean. Homes need it, schools need it. They're hiring me to do it, why don't I just get on the other side of the fence and start up my own business!"

That's how you open up possibilities. It starts with a dream. Then it's a matter of turning that dream blueprint into reality. As a person begins to embrace their own self worth and open themselves up to the idea of what is possible, they'll attract wealth and prosperity into their life. The outer world is truly a reflection of our inner world. If someone is feeling good on the inside, generally it will show on the outside and they'll draw positive experiences into their life. That's the way life works.

References
(1) Hallbom, T. and K. Hallbom, Alternative Medicine: The Definitive Guide, (Beverly Hills, CA: The Holistic Book Project, 1993) Neuro-Linguistic Programming, p. 382
(2) Hallbom, T., Dilts, R. and Smith, S., Beliefs: Pathways to Health and Well Being, (Metamorphous Press, 1988)

The Wealthy Mind Program, offered by Tim and Kristine Hallbom and Armand D'Alo, teaches individuals how to create the attitudes, behaviors, and ways of thinking that deliver wealth. Visit their sites today. www.nlpca.com/ and thewealthymind.com/

                Tips to Building a Better Martial-Arts School                                                                                                                                  by John G. Johnson


Tip 1:

Make sure GOALS are clear..
Enrolling a student just because they want to “take classes” seems like common-sense on first glance. Yes, you can do that, and get paid. But you will never the true reason(s) why they joined. And if they enrolled into your school with pre-conceived expectations – and those expectations aren’t met – then the cost is that you’ll lose that student. Period.

Instead, interview each prospective student to make sure that you know specifically what their goal is and that it’s crystal clear – to you - and to the student. It’s fine if someone has more than one goal. You then build your curriculum around each student’s goal, or goals. Doing so keeps your classes interesting and challenging. It’s a Win/Win for everyone. And creating a curriculum this way also significantly reduces one of the many reasons students drop out…class is boring!

Tip 2:

TEST and welcome FEEDBACK…
Even though you have a working curriculum, you still have to check (TEST) to make sure everything is going as planned. Students drop out for a variety of reasons. Some of these you can fix others you can’t. For example, if you realize a student has reduced his/her attendance or wants to quit, inquire into the reasons for their decision. Get feedback (FEEDBACK /FAILURE).  You then use this information to make adjustments to your curriculum. Also, metaphors are powerful. Don’t believe your made-up story as to why “you think” your students aren’t showing up. Go to the source – the student – to get the specific information you need. This is within your control. If someone moves away and distance prevents them from attending, that’s something out of your control.

Tip 3:

Your STATE OF MIND transfers…
QUESTION: Who are you? And WHY do you want to teach? You need to answer these questions for yourself. If teaching is something you want to do, and you are congruent with your intent, then it will show; it will be converted into enthusiasm, passion. Your students will absorb these states and will be inspired. They’ll want to push themselves. This in turn will translate into student retention. If you lack the appropriate states-of-mind, and are teaching from a consciousness that’s bland, wimpy and lacking enthusiasm… your students will also pick this up as well. Some will even make mention of having ho-hum feelings after a class workout and don’t know the source – which is you! Humans are always learning. Your students will model your state of mind and attitude. Everything flows from the instructor.

Adding to this, the best instructors know that teaching isn’t about them, the Instructor. It’s about the students (SELF/OTHER). Having your attention outwards allows you to track what’s going on in real-time, whether during a teaching session or during non-teaching moments. The benefit of possessing this ability is that you can creatively make adjustments to situations occurring in-the-moment that’s to the benefit of the student. Adopting the proper teaching frame of mind makes it easier to enter this uptime mindset.

©2012 John Johnson All rights reserved! Subscribe to our mailing list for workshops, newsletters and events. Go to:  www.nlpsuccessbydesign.com

Women, Divinity & Purpose – An Interview with Linda Kay Klein
(Reprinted with Permission)

 
Linda is a writer, speaker, and spiritual strongwoman based in New York City. She directs the Work on Purpose program for Echoing Green, a global nonprofit that unleashes next generation talent to solve the world’s biggest problems.  Work on Purpose inspires and equips people to create careers that are both right for them and good for the world.

 Linda sits on the advisory board of Our Inner Lives, a project of Feminist.com, for which she also writes the “Fierce, Faithful, and Free” column. 

What are you passionate about?

Last week I led a workshop for a group of college students. I encouraged them to talk to strangers on the subway. To tell their whole truths to someone they will never see again for just 5 minutes and to see what happens.  They looked at me like I was insane. But who else do they expect to tell their truths to!  They’re not going to tell it to their bosses, not their best friends, everyone they’ve got to worry about what they think of them—and they better tell someone, and quick, or they might forget what their truth is altogether…so why not a stranger? Some of my favorite memories were made with people I never saw again.

I am passionate about authenticity, honesty, humility, showing up fully with all my flaws, my jokes that fall flat, my lack of answers, all of it.  I am also passionate about other people coming along on this journey with me, because when we do, we see one another. And when we see one another, anything can happen. Injustices can be overturned, wounds healed, divides collapsed, wars ended, and revivals begun

Do you believe you know your purpose in life? If so, how did you come to this conclusion?

Ah, purpose. This is something I think a great deal about. In fact, I am the director of Echoing Green’s Work on Purpose program. So…“purpose” is literally in my job title.

It is fortunate then that, yes, I do believe I know my purpose in life!  It is to inspire people to be honest with and good to themselves and one another, and to live life fully.

Today, I live my purpose out by helping people create careers that are both right for them and good for the world through the social entrepreneurship and social change organization Echoing Green.  I also live my purpose out by writing about women, sex, and God—which I think of as my “soul-work”—for my Fierce, Faithful and Free column on Feminist.com, my Man-Made Girls blog, and the book that I am writing about eternal girlhood in the evangelical Christian church.  And I live it out by singing with my gospel choir, by putting on my “Dancing Alone” mix and getting down in my apartment as often as possible, and talking to strangers on the subway.

 Do you engage in setting goals? If so how do you hold yourself accountable?

I absolutely set goals! I believe that purpose is created, not found (though creating it does take a bit of finding), and creation of any kind takes work.

I have what I call my Life Strategic Plan, which includes my personal vision, mission, and objectives, as well as a series of goals and strategies for completing those goals for the upcoming year. This is a living document and is not meant to be adhered to strictly, but just to provide a bit of direction.

I also keep a weekly Action Report, which is basically a glorified to-do list, in which I document all of my long-term goals, short-term goals, and action steps I will take toward them each week.  Action steps include everything from purchasing a book on sex and spirituality to reaching out to an editor I admire.

I try to wake up 40 minutes before work each day in order to update my Action Report, and to tackle a few things on it while I drink my coffee.  But I am gentle with myself when I don’t do it.  After all, life is for living, and sleep is a delicious thing.

When analyzing an opportunity in your life (professional or personal) what questions inform your choices?

The number one question I ask myself is “What does my gut have to say about it?” My gut is very smart, much smarter than either heart or my head. In fact, I think that our guts—that small voice we can all find in our innards, is the very same “still small voice” that Elijah heard, and that the church calls the Holy Spirit.  Remember that story?

 Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.

So it was, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave.

-       I Kings 19:11-13a

 

What self- care habits do you engage in (yoga, time with a close friend, reading, etc).

Every Thursday is LKK Day.  This is the untouchable day in which I can do anything I want, as long as I do it alone.  It is the thing that keeps me sane in New York City.  Often, I do yoga on Thursdays.  I could use more self-care honestly, but this is one thing that has made a huge difference for me.

Why do you think it’s so common that women in our society put themselves last and how can we begin to shift that cultural attitude?

It is deep in us—our history, and our collective understanding of ourselves—this notion that we are worth less than what we can offer to others, which in essence means that we are worth less…than others. That’s what happens when the patriarchy lasts as long as it has.

This will only change when we women begin to see themselves as equally valuable. There is some pretty stellar work going on to help get us there—work within education, religion, economic development, art, and more.  It will take all of it.  And more. Some of my favorite Echoing Green Fellows doing this work are Shining Hope for Communities, and the Op-Ed Project.

Best way to celebrate your own successes.

I tend to go with cupcakes.  But I am open to other suggestions….

 

Linda is a writer, speaker, and spiritual strongwoman based in New York City. She directs the Work on Purpose program for Echoing Green, a global nonprofit that unleashes next generation talent to solve the world’s biggest problems.  Work on Purpose inspires and equips people to create careers that are both right for them and good for the world.

To stay in touch with Linda you can visit her blog at: www.manmadegirls.com

Business Lessons from Usain Bolt
By: Cherryl Hanson Simpson

When Usain Bolt finished the 100 metres final of the 2012 London Olympics in a new meet record of 9.63 seconds, the eyes of millions of people were keenly watching his performance. With his brilliant accomplishment, the Jamaican sprint star demonstrated to his many fans around the world that he is indeed a legend in his own time.

In addition to his athletic prowess, I am inspired by Bolt for reasons outside of the sporting arena. After the 2009 Berlin World Athletics Championships, I reflected on some of the lessons that the sprinter could teach us about money. Discipline, self-belief and persistence were just some of Bolt's habits that could also help us to achieve our personal and financial goals.

Bolt's attitudes, actions and achievements continue to give us examples that are worthy of emulating. After watching him win another gold medal for Jamaica last Sunday, my thoughts turned to areas in his life that could educate and encourage entrepreneurs. Let's look at some of the business lessons that we can learn from Bolt.

Choose a business that you love

It has been said that if you find a job doing what you love, you'll never work a day in your life. Watching Bolt run, it is obvious that he enjoys his life's work of competing in athletic events around the world. With a smile on his face and a dance in his step, Bolt makes the arduous mission of winning races look almost easy.

Similarly, running a business can be more fulfilling if you are operating in a field that you really love. An entrepreneur's life can often be filled with challenges; so when the tough times come, it is easier to keep going if you are truly motivated by your daily tasks. You will also find it easier to attract customers when you are passionate about your business.

Be an expert in your field

I am quite sure that Bolt would not enjoy his athletic career as much if he wasn't very good at it. One of the reasons that he is reaping bountiful rewards is that he is an expert sprinter who always delivers exceptional results. While Bolt's ability to perform well is partially due to his innate talent, it is also a product of many hours of gruelling training and strategic coaching.

While it's great to be fond of what you do in business, more is required for your success as an entrepreneur. It is important to be knowledgeable and proficient in your field of endeavour, as you need to provide outstanding offerings to attract and maintain your customers. Whatever your business, ensure that you continually seek advice and development to upgrade your operation.

Keep your customers happy

It is a pleasure to see the tremendous response that Bolt receives from his fans wherever he goes. As a natural showman both on and off the track, he knows how to please his audience and leave them wanting more. Despite the pressures that come with being in the public eye, Bolt always seems to be happy to sign autographs, pose for pictures and make charity appearances.

If you want your business to stand out from the rest, take a page from Bolt's book. Think about how you can 'wow' your customers by meeting their needs, offering incentives, and going above and beyond the call of duty to serve them. What would it take for your customers to leave with a smile on their faces and the resolve to come back for more of your product or service?

Marketing makes the difference

With his engaging personality, photo-ready antics and viral 'To Di Worl' pose, Bolt is a marketer's dream come true. He has been able to attract many sponsors because he delivers a package that goes beyond his ability to run. His promotional income could outperform his on-track earnings, and places him among other sports superstars such as Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods.

To increase the earning capacity of your business, make use of innovative marketing tactics. Even if you have the best product or service in the world, you won't get sales if no one knows who you are or where to find you. Like Bolt, go for the international stage by using strategies such as online sales and social media involvement to market your business.

Don't get complacent

As Bolt discovered recently, if you underestimate your competitors it can have devastating results. When 100-metre World Champion Yohan Blake stunned the world by beating him twice at the Jamaica national trials, it was definitely a wake-up call for Bolt to focus more on his preparations to defend his Olympic titles.

While Bolt was able to recover quickly and regain his position as the world's fastest man, it may not be so easy to reclaim a lost business advantage. If you're doing well in your enterprise, be aware that the competition has its sights set on taking your place. Use surveys, focus groups and direct communication to ensure that you stay on top of changing customer demands in your industry.

So as you celebrate Bolt's phenomenal victory, think of other ways in which he could inspire you to be more successful in business!

Cherryl Hanson Simpson is a Jamaican entrepreneur, Money-Coach, Business mentor, and founder of Financially S.M.A.R.T. Services. She enjoys talking and listening to people and helping them to achieve their dreams. Her upcoming book, "The 3 Ms of Money" will reveal all the secrets she learned about financial success. Read more about Cherryl at: http://financiallysmartadvice.com and http://entrepreneursinjamaica.com/

                                                                                        Participate in You                                                                                              by John G. Johnson

“I always get nervous”, Peter said, “whenever I’m speaking on the telephone.”

“You mean to tell me that each and every single time when you use a phone you get nervous? Has this been going on since you first learned to use a phone? Are you hiding something and afraid of being caught?” I responded.

What I said to Peter might seem strange. But his statement was loaded with distortions and generalizations begging to be challenged. Sometimes when communicating with someone you have to ‘blow things out of proportion’, exaggerate things, so that when the “dust settles down”, so to speak - specifics remain – the focus of the dialogue is revealed. And that’s just what happened; Peter clarified himself: He was just hired at a company. But whenever a customer asked him questions about a product or service – that he didn’t – yet - know the answer to, he stuttered, his breathing hastened, his mind ‘drew a blank’… This was Peter’s true issue. And he wanted to make a good impression at his new job, so a lot was at stake for him.

Peter’s supervisors intervened - with good intentions – when they realized what has happening. What was their overall strategy to help Peter? “Telling” him what he “should” do to “fix” the problem; basically bombarding him all sorts of theories and concepts. And when those failed, they “told” him another solution; and when that failed as well… they “told” him another solution, etc.

Peter realized that in order to succeed at his new job he needed two things: ONE, change the state of mind he entered whenever customers asked him questions he didn’t yet know the answer to.

So, instead of just “talking” to Peter I made him an active participant in the exercises and strategies which I assigned him. It’s a more efficient way to learn and to fully absorb whatever it is you want to master. Instead of talking about voice-tone and how it influences your state, I had him pay attention to what he was experiencing, what states he was entering and exiting as he practiced using different voice-tones.

THE SECOND thing Peter needed were strategies for dealing with clients who asked him questions he immediately did not – yet- know the answer to. Seeing that personal triumphs also depend on having the appropriate state of mind, I had peter access that specific mind-space where he could creatively generate his own ideas and strategies. We reviewed and tweaked these creative strategies for optimal performance. Having tools for success is one thing. But having the belief and confidence that you can fearlessly put them into action requires that you have in your mind a virtual-database of moments when you were successful because you put these strategies into action … And that’s where mental rehearsal – rehearsal in the past and in the future - and taking part in your own success come into play. I had Peter take his newfound strategies for success and mentally rehearse them in future scenarios. That was fine.

I also had him take these same strategies and apply it to the moments in his past – where he performed poorly with customers. Doing this benefited Peter in several ways: One, it gave Peter the opportunity to see himself practicing and utilizing his newfound strategies; and, two, Peter was able to see and to experience how things would have had already worked to his advantage having applied his newfound strategies to his - past scenarios. “Knowing what you know now what would you have done differently back then with the 'light' of the new choices and options you have.” Of course the past cannot be changed. But you can creatively and successfully use it to your advantage.

Athletes who are at the top of their game know that if their goal is to master a strategy, a technique, etc. they need to rehearse the strategy and sequence not just with their bodies, but also with their minds as well. Mentally rehearsing the end desire boosts your confidence, belief about your capabilities as well. Success starts in the mind, and with a mind that has a database of experiential moments you can call upon – as proof that you can replicate success. The point is that talking about an experience is one thing; theory has its limits. Living and experiencing a virtual or a real-world moment is another. And the latter beats theory anytime, and has more impact on an individual - and on you.

©2012 John Johnson All rights reserved! Subscribe to our mailing list for workshops, newsletters and events. Go to:  www.nlpsuccessbydesign.com